David Brooks

I recently discovered a new columnist whose writing style I really like. His name is David Brooks.

One of my favorite articles is one that he wrote about 5 years ago. It's called Saturday Night Lite.

Here are some of the best quotes from the article:

"I blame the arbiters of virtue. Sometime over the past generation we became less likely to object to something because it is immoral and more likely to object to something because it is unhealthy or unsafe. So smoking is now a worse evil than six of the Ten Commandments, and the word "sinful" is most commonly associated with chocolate.

Now we lead lives in which everything is a pallid parody of itself: fat-free yogurt, salt-free pretzels, milk-free milk. Gone, at least among the responsible professional class, is the exuberance of the feast. Gone is the grand and pointless gesture."

OR

"This isn't the empire of an American Caesar; it's the empire of faux Caesar salad.

I blame parents. Kids are raised amid foam corner protectors and schooled amid flame-retardant construction paper. They're drugged with a vast array of pharmaceuticals to keep them from becoming interesting. They go from adult-structured tutorials to highly padded sports practices to career-counselor-approved summer internships."

He ends with these words:

"no matter how dull and responsible you become, an alternative and much stranger moral universe is always just one slippery step away."

Agreed.

Smile

This message is as much for me as it is for any who might read this.

A few years ago on one of my first sales trips to the Texas panhandle I visited an advertising agency that prided itself on being the 'oldest ad agency west of the Mississippi River'. Their office looked as though it was stuck in the 70's with the earth-tone decor, the smell of old books, and outdated office furniture. As I stood in the waiting area I saw a door full of interesting quotes and thoughts. The one that stood out to me the most was one that said the following: 'Smile, it gets worse.'

I laughed silently to myself and thought about something my mom had taught me as a kid. She explained to me that the reason we experience tough times is to prepare us for the tougher ones to come. There is definitely some truth to that.

Fast forward to the present day (well a couple of days ago), I found myself sitting across the table from a friend sharing the fortunes from the cookies we had just eaten. As 'luck' would have it, my fortune said something with a completely different tone...it said, 'Don't Give Up! The Best Is Yet To Come.'

It was a timely message and one I felt compelled to share. As a missionary I would often receive little stories enclosed in each of the letters that my grandfather would send. One such story illustrates the idea of the fortune cookie well. The story is told of an elderly woman who had reached the end of her life. She called the pastor of her church to her home so that she could get all of her affairs in order. Upon leaving, the pastor turns to the elderly woman and asks if there is anything else that he can do for her. She responds by telling him that there is one more small thing she would like him to do...make sure that she is be buried with a fork in her right hand.

Obviously puzzled, the pastor asks her to explain her unique request. She proceeds to tell him that her favorite part of church gatherings was when someone would tell those in attendance to, 'keep their forks' after they had finished eating dinner. Those words meant that dessert was to follow shortly.

Nodding his head, the pastor agreed to do as she requested because he understood perfectly what she was trying to say. She had lived a full life, eaten all of her dinner so to speak, and now she would hold her fork in anticipation of partaking of the dessert that awaited her.

Our lives are much the same way. We must eat all of our vegetables if we hope to have a bowl of ice cream afterward. Through the trials and tribulations that we face we become better and stronger. If we endure those difficult times that come to each of us and see them through to the end not only will we come to understand their purpose in our lives, we will also prepare ourselves for better days ahead.

I know that sometimes it is easy to get discouraged, to lose faith, or to give up hope in the face of adversity. But, remember the words of the fortune cookie, 'Don't give up. The best is yet to come!'

The Value of Opinions

In keeping with Harper Lee, there is another great lesson in the classic novel, To Kill a Mockingbird.

'People are certainly entitled to think what they want, and they're entitled to full respect for their opinions, but before I can live with other folks I've got to live with myself. The one thing that doesn't abide by majority rule is a person's conscience.'

I don't mean to discount the value of other people's opinions of me...in fact, in many ways, those opinions have helped me to make changes in my life for the better. With that said, there is danger when we allow the judgments of others to affect us in a negative way.

I have found that we are often hard enough on ourselves as it is and we do not need to allow other people's words, thoughts, or actions to burden us even more. It doesn't matter how many people share the same opinion (majority rule), what matters it what we think of ourselves.

I've always loved the phrase, 'keep your chin up and your nose clean.' When our lives are in order (noses clean) then we can keep our chins up regardless of what others may think of us.

The best way to keep your nose clean is to follow this counsel: 'Good, Better, Best...never let it rest until your Good is Better than Best.' There's always room for improvement.

The Courage of Dating

I made a promise last week to write something on my blog with the condition that I would be given a topic to write about. The topic was dating. I don't consider myself any sort of authority on the subject. In fact, the thought, 'those who can't do, teach' comes to mind.

So, rather than offer any of my own profound insights on the subject, I'll allow Harper Lee to do it:

"I wanted you to see what real courage is, instead of getting the idea that courage is a man with a gun in his hand. It's when you know you're licked before you begin but you begin anyway and you see it through no matter what. You rarely win, but sometimes you do."

Dating can be tough. Rather than winning sometimes...you really only win once. But, it's important to remember that the times that you don't win only become losses when you choose not to learn something from them. I know that I have learned something new from each relationship that I've been in and I'm a better person because of it.

Knowing that the majority of the relationships that we're going to be in will either end in heartache and disappointment for one or both parties gives us the impression that we 'are licked before we begin' but we must have courage and 'begin anyway' and, more importantly, 'see it through no matter what.'

Each 'no' brings us that much closer to a 'yes'. Some have already found it. Some of us are still looking.

PFC Little Brother

I don't know when Austin started calling me Big Brother but ever since he did, I've always referred to him as little brother. I'm lucky to have two.

A little over 11 years ago as I left on my mission my youngest brother, Austin, wrote me a short note to take with me. I'm not sure if he knows it or not but I carried that note with me for a full two years. If I ever got discouraged I would think of that note and it always made me smile. Here's what the note said:

'Dear Travis, thank you for helping
me with my math and jumping on the trampoline.'



I was impressed at how much those small and simple things meant to him. This week, as I sat on the bleachers at the National Infantry Museum at Fort Benning Georgia and watched the same little brother march in cadence onto the field with the rest of his platoon, I couldn't help but look back at some of the 'little things' that I was thankful for.

I'm not sure how it happened but Austin and I have been really close over the years. I remember him laying next to me with a bottle in his mouth and listening as he would drink it slowly until he fell asleep. As the years went by there were the times he mentioned when we would jump on the trampoline or I would help him with his math. It seems like the older we got, the closer we became.

Despite the 10 year age difference we started hanging out more. We even had our own unspoken traditions, every Summer we made it a point to go to Raging Waters at least once, or we would get together and drink matte on the porch and talk about what was happening in each other's lives. We shared a love for "the number 6" at Wendy's, and we always washed it down with an ice cold Coke.

Of course there are the family vacations but he and I would plan our own vacations. Whether it was a weekend trip to Southern Utah or a surprise birthday trip for my mom in Hawaii we always had a good time wherever we went.

When Austin left a few months ago and began a new chapter in his life I think we both realized that we weren't going to have the same frequency of little moments that we were used to. However, that does not make the ones that we have had since and will have in the future any less meaningful. In fact, their scarcity makes them perhaps even more valuable now.

This week, after his graduation from Basic Training we sat in the hotel swimming pool and talked...my 'little brother' wasn't so little anymore. He described it best when he said that the only thing that changed was that he 'added a new personality setting.' After spending two days with him I agree. He's still the same fun-loving kid he's always been but now there's a more mature side to him. A side that has taken upon him the 'Soldier's Creed.'.

It was a truly unique experience to attend a Basic Training Graduation. As Austin's Platoon marched onto the field the announcer was narrating their training. It was one of those moments when you're overcome with a sense of pride knowing that the person he is referring to in his narrative is the same young boy you said goodbye to two months before. As the soldiers grew closer the narrator ended with these words:

'When called, the Army has never let the Nation down. We will continue to prevail...these victories are not won by technology, but by the sweat and toil and perseverance of the American Soldier. He is well trained, led and equipped, and he has the tremendous support of his Family, Friends, and Nation. He has the confidence and competence to accomplish the mission!'



They stood in perfect formation on the field as the ceremony progressed. Before they did their 'Pass in Review' they recited the Soldier's Creed...that same creed that Austin has so bravely taken upon himself. There is something about listening to 240 kids say in unison, 'i will never accept defeat, i will never quit, i will never leave a fallen comrade' and knowing that they mean it.



One of the things I found most impressive is that despite their different backgrounds and varying reasons for enlistment these men and women, young and old, have come to share a common purpose and work toward a common goal...maintaining the freedoms that we enjoy at whatever high price they may be asked to pay.

I have a greater sense of reverence and respect for all of those that serve in the armed forces and especially those that serve alongside my little brother. In the coming years as he advances in rank raises his hand to show respect for those with a higher authority than his own, I will always take my hat off to him and salute him.