Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Now and Then...

It's been an interesting day. I think I've had a lot of time to reflect on the past couple of years. On Saturday I found myself reluctantly taking pictures for a friend. I use the word reluctantly because I'll be the first to admit that when it comes to taking pictures of people it's something better left for the professionals. We agreed that the price that they would pay for my time was a nice home-cooked meal...those are hard to come by as a bachelor. I was quick to remind them that 'they get what they pay for.' Since I come cheap, they couldn't expect to much. I showed up early and received the home-cooked meal (one of my favorites) biscuits and gravy...ranch style. I think I came out ahead on that deal.

Well, I shot the majority of the images in RAW (NEF if you're a Nikon user). Anyway, I guess I like things in that format. I like my steak on the raw side, my sushi of course...raw, and sometimes my thoughts. There is something about a hand-written letter with scribbles through misspelled words, white out and ink over covered up phrases, etc. Unfortunately, you can't see those things in a blog post...unless of course I were to write it, scan it, and upload...but, let's be honest, I'm too lazy for that. However, I will keep this one as raw and unadulterated as possible. That's a long intro to this post...which is fine, this one is meant as more of a catharsis for me anyway.

The blog title for this post is 'Now and Then' refers to the past two years of my life. Today is the birthday of a girl that I used to date (I don't like the term ex-girlfriend because it sounds so negative). Two years ago today I was rushing home from a work party that she was unable to attend with me because she had to study for finals, so that I could wish her a Happy Birthday in person. I remember ordering a dessert at the restaurant (chocolate cake if memory serves me correctly) to take to her along with the roses (her favorite flower) that I had picked up earlier that day. I got to her house around 10 o'clock we shared the piece of cake and I sang to her in Portuguese before telling her goodnight so that she could get some sleep and be well rested for her exams the next day. After her finals were over I took her out to dinner and to the Nutcracker to officially celebrate and we ended the night with a quick trip to see the lights at Temple Square before we both left town.

Honestly, there's a part of me that would like to go back in time and relive those few nights BUT I realize that was then...and this is now. I know it's probably unhealthy (emotionally) but I've had allowed thoughts come and go throughout the day wondering just how she is spending this birthday...after all, this is her first birthday since she began her college career when she won't have to stress over final projects/exams. I can only hope that someone made it a special day for her and that the coming year is even better than the last.

She was my best friend and it doesn't feel right not to reach out on a special occasion like a birthday. I've even debated a couple of times today whether to send a text message, an email, or join the host of well-wishers on Facebook to tell her Happy Birthday but have decided against it. Instead, I'll use this post, that she will likely never come across, to wish her a Happy Birthday...Happy Birthday, Milo!